I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
