We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
