We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
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