Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
