I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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