Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
