There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
