my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
