ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
