ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
