I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
