Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
