"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
