I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
