Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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