:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
