don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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