My room smells like vodka and shame
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
