ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
