Me too!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
