We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
