I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
