If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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