thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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