can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
