her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I woke up under a house in Key West
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