you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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