After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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