Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
