Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
