OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Sober January is a disaster.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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