And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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