we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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