So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Everyone says I win the strip club
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'm always down for nudity.
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