eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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