Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
