READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
