My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Dick very happy bro
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
