I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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