4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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