Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
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