i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
