i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
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