that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
