Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
