.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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