ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
