I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i think my cat just said my name.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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