I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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