I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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