i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
