sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
